As a counsellor working with young people, I see first hand how social media can shape self-esteem, self-worth, and overall mental well-being. While these platforms can offer connection and self-expression, they can also become spaces where anxiety, fear of judgment, and feelings of inadequacy take root.
The Link between Social Media and Anxiety
Many young people I work with describe a pressure to be constantly available, to respond instantly, and to present an idealised version of themselves online. This pressure can create conditions of worth—where self-value becomes tied to likes, follows, and online validation rather than an internal sense of self-worth. The fear of judgment can be overwhelming, with some feeling anxious about how they are perceived, afraid of making mistakes, or experiencing social exclusion when not included in online conversations.
Peer pressure is also a huge factor. I often hear from young people who feel compelled to join group chats, follow trends, or engage in online spaces even when they don’t want to. Being added to WhatsApp groups without consent is a common issue, and for some, these spaces become environments for targeted bullying, exclusion, or pressure to conform.
How Social Media Can Impact Mental Health
Social media influences mental health in various ways:
- Fear of judgment and comparison – Young people may compare themselves to others, leading to low self-esteem and a distorted self-image.
- Cyberbullying and social exclusion – Being on the receiving end of negative online interactions can reinforce feelings of rejection and anxiety.
- Disrupted sleep patterns – Late-night scrolling can interfere with rest, and poor sleep is closely linked to increased emotional distress.
- Unrealistic expectations – Seeing only the highlights of others’ lives can lead to self-doubt and feelings of not being ‘good enough.’
What Parents and Carers Might Notice
Parents and carers may see:
- A young person becoming more withdrawn or irritable
- Increased self-criticism or lower self-confidence
- Avoidance of real-life social situations
- A need for constant reassurance or validation
- Difficulty sleeping or changes in daily routines
Parents’ own use of social media can also influence a young person’s relationship with it. If adults are frequently engaged with their phones, children may unconsciously learn that online presence is a priority. What parents engage with online may also appear in their child’s feed, shaping their perceptions and expectations.
Encouraging a Healthier Relationship with Social Media
Encouraging young people to change their social media habits can be challenging, but involving them in decisions about boundaries can support their need for autonomy and help them feel heard. So, how can we help young people develop a more positive relationship with social media?
- Encourage self-worth beyond online validation – Remind young people that their value isn’t determined by social media metrics.
- Lift your head up and notice the world around you – Taking intentional breaks from screens allows space for real-world connection and self-reflection.
- Open conversations without judgment – Create a safe space where young people feel comfortable discussing their online experiences and struggles.
- Set boundaries together – Engaging young people in discussions about screen-time habits and allowing them to be part of the decision-making process can help them feel a sense of control over their choices. This involvement can also support their need for validation and autonomy, making boundaries feel more manageable and less restrictive.
- Create a positive online environment – Encourage following accounts that promote self-acceptance and positivity rather than comparison and pressure
Seeking Support
If social media is contributing to anxiety, counselling can offer a safe, non-judgmental space to explore these feelings. In therapy, we work on developing a stronger sense of self-worth, challenging negative thought patterns, and building resilience in the face of social pressures.
Navigating social media mindfully can help young people foster a healthier relationship with themselves and the world around them, ensuring that their well-being comes first.